BECAUSE
Go.
It was 'red day.' As I came in to wake her, I paused to capture the memory of stuffed animals surrounding her head, the comforter pulled up to her chin, and the wavy mess of hair across her forehead. I brushed her hair aside. It's time to wake up honey. It's red day! It's going to be a great day!
She promptly rolled over (catching glimpses of her teenage years), and with a waiver of tears in her throat she curtly stated, "I am not wearing red. It is not red day for me."
Shocked at the non-conformist reaction to red day, my face burned and I tried my hardest not to let the anger push past my lips. "But everyone will be wearing red, Miss E. You need to wear red."
"I don't like red. I am not wearing red. I want to be different."
I couldn't let it go. I didn't force her to wear red, but I couldn't let her be. I kept reminding her what everyone else would be doing. I forced a red sweatshirt on her brother, and even grabbed a red shirt for her school tote, telling her that if she changed her mind she would have the option to change at school.
As we drove the 30 minutes to school, my heart was saddened as the usually rambunctious and chatty girl sat in the back seat silently, staring out the window. I had broken her spirit of individuality and independence that morning. And I needed to fix it.
"Miss E, I am sorry. I should not have made you feel bad for not wearing red. I am proud of your decision this morning, and I'm proud that you stuck up for yourself. That was a brave thing to do. I love that you want to be different today."
She smiled at me in the rearview mirror.
Because I let my own insecurities get in the way, my own fears of rejection because of my differences, I almost let her go to the same place I go. I almost let her believe that it's not ok to be different.
But she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and because God was able to show me this glimpse of His mercy and grace, I was able to see past my own fears and insecurities. And because of this otherwise ordinary morning, a three year old changed the way I look at what it means to be comfortable in her own skin. She stuck up for herself against her own momma, and I could not have been more proud.
Stop.
Thanks for reading today! In case you're not familiar, next week (on October 1), I'll be venturing into an unknown territory: writing for 31 days straight on one topic. I'll continue with the Five Minute Friday prompts throughout the month, but I will try to stay on my theme of the month: Finding ways to Encourage Others Daily. I hope you'll join me on my adventure!
Until next time,
Mrs. Kuda
