Well, hello there 2012!

I always seem to talk about resolutions, but actually have never put them down on paper, and have definitely never followed through with anything I've discussed, so I'm hoping to be a little more accountable for myself by putting them here. The problem is I don't actually have specific resolutions, but rather some ideas that I want to get moving...

I want to run. Like almost every day. It's not that I actually like running. I actually hate it. But what I do LOVE is the rush of energy afterwards.  The problem is, I really LOVE sleeping in. And hanging out with my family. So it's been hard for me to get into. Sigh...

I want to do more.

I can't really explain this, other than the fact that I have been feeling rather convicted lately that I haven't been contributing to our society in any sort of effective way, and it just makes me want to do cool (for lack of a better term) stuff. Like I have this amazing degree that I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to obtain, and I do help people with it every day, but I just feel like I can put it to use in a different, more creative way in our community. I don't have money to give, but I could make the time.  Any suggestions?

I want to eat at least one vegetable every day.  May seem an easy enough task, but we're on day four, people, and I've already failed!  But the effort has been there. I know it sounds a bit ludicrous that it's difficult for me, a completely self-sufficient responsible adult to achieve this, but we're meat and potato people. I actually just need to eat like my daughter, and I'd be set.

my veggie queen

And that's my little list of three. There's something magical about this clean slate we receive each year, but what 2011 has taught me (with the help of a rambunctious toddler) is that each day is new. Each day we're given is an opportunity to learn, and to make ourselves, our lives, and our opportunities just a little bit better.

So here's to you, 2012!

Until next time,

Mrs. Kuda

For the dogs...

As I'm cooking dinner (Please overlook that statement. I probably wasn't actually cooking--because I just don't do that, but rather shuffling my feet in the kitchen trying to figure out what my now-refusing-purees-because-she'd-rather-eat-steak-10-month-old wants to eat. Moving on.), I immediately become acutely aware that things are silent in the room (that's 5 feet from my kitchen) where my daughter is playing. Then I hear VERY quick crawling knees with a giggle building in her.

Yes, you can actually hear E before she laughs. She gets very excited beforehand, and there's a definite ring in the air before she lets her giggle go. It's pretty darned cute.

Anywho, I know right where she's headed, and by the time I can peak my head into the living room, she's poised and ready: kneeling above the dog bed, she waits to make sure I'm paying attention, then throws her FACE directly into the I-have-no-idea-when-the-last-time-my-dog-had-a-bath dog bed.  She did it on purpose. And wanted me to see it.

With the advice of my mother and many other mothers in my life ringing in my head: Redirect, redirect! She doesn't understand that it's gross and wrong! Redirect! I calmly tell her, "No, no, sweet girl. Doggie's bed," and take her to her toys, "E's toys. These are yours to play with."  All while trying desperately not to gag at the fact she just exposed herself to God knows what from the dog bed, while also biting my cheeks to suppress my own giggles at the fact that my daughter has a pretty gross sense of humor (what I didn't add was that she laughed hysterically through the whole event, mouth full of dog hair and all). Thanks Mr. Kuda... Your genes are getting the blame for this one.

Starting Over 2.0

Right, so it's been awhile, mostly because I haven't found my stride as a blogger, but also because life has become much more than me waking up each day and enjoying my little girl while keeping house. It's become what I never thought my life would be: schedule coordination, day care, stressful jobs, unexpected travel plans gone awry, getting excited just to sit and watch tv with my husband for a half an hour prior to passing out at 8:30 at night, only to do it all over again the next day. I look back at my eight month maternity leave as a seriously sleep deprived extended vacation.

Which at this point, I realize all sounds utterly depressing.  My 25 year-old self would look down her nose at her older, more settled future Kristin, and think, Really? Sooooo BORING.

But that's the thing. It's not either of those things.

This summer has been a season of change, of personal growth, of learning more about myself than I ever thought was humanly possible in such a short time. And despite the stresses of everyday life, including my suddenly and surprisingly rambunctious (albeit, amazing in every way) 10 month old, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, and have come to discover that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, with the people I'm meant to spend it with.

Which brings me to my final point. Up until now my blog has been a handful of excerpts of life at home with a baby while trying to balance home life, but it hasn't been a true glimpse of what I'm feeling, thinking, or in all honesty, not wanting to feel or think. It's time for my self-realizations be put down on paper... Or microns? Or something electronic given the plugged-in nature of my computer?  Anyhow, it's time to be a bit more honest with myself and with those around me. So, here goes!

And I promise to continue to include super-cute pics of little E. And I also promise to not make any other "start-over" blog posts. This is it!