I Talk Too Much.

Remember my chains.

I spent a few minutes in Colossians this morning. In brief, Paul is in prison, and he is writing with joy to a people who had encountered heretical teachings encouraging them to stay the straight path with fervor.

Y'all. He is in prison. With joy. AGAIN.

His last words to the Colossians are, "Remember my chains." In other words, "Y'all better not forget about me here! I know it's bad, but I'm in prison and still spreading the Gospel with JOY. Keep it going, people!"

I'm not quite sure that's exactly how he meant it, but in my head, that's how it goes down.

What in the world does this have to do with me talking too much? And more importantly, where do you come in? Let me take you back a few (five, to be exact) months...

**

May 2015: The last time I wrote (within this medium). You've noticed the radio silence, yes? Looking back at a few of my last posts, I can't help but notice: I talk too darned much.

Yes, I know that's kind of the point as a writer. I'm supposed to engage you, the reader, and enlighten you in new ways and introduce familiar concepts with a fresh eye. I'm supposed to inspire you to find new perspective or maybe even enrage you so you feel stronger than you ever have before.

But I talked and talked until my face turned blue about following your calling, obeying God's will for your life, and rid yourself of the unsettling feeling of not living up to your potential. But while I feel I provided you with sound advice, I stopped short of my promise. I didn't follow through, nor did I follow my own path.

Our dear friend Paul, in his sweet letter to the Colossians, also says this:

Work willingly at whatever you do as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ. (3:23-24 NLT)

I guess this is an apology of sorts. For Talking the Talk, but not Walking the Walk. For painting a picture of what obedience looks like, but not living it myself. And I have no excuse but for the chains that bind me: fear.

The thing about fear is that it's a slow, yet sudden take-over. The swirl of smoke is almost pleasant until you realize it's blazing out of control and has consumed all that surrounds it. So while I continued receive confirmation that The Incredible K be a platform of encouragement, faith, and a little home-y goodness (add in a splash of my cute kiddos), the more I felt as if my words would have no impact. Worse, the more those around me urged me to continue, the more I felt I wasn't equipped to share God's plan for me. For you.

And guess what?

I'm not.

Equipped, that is. But neither are you. Most grand gestures have the greatest impact when they're a step out in faith; a belief in the unknown, but just knowing it's right. The thing is, God has given us each unique gifts to fulfill His glory-filled plan. And when our plans align with His will, we need not be "prepared" in the classical sense, but to openly follow what we know He has called us to do. As Paul says, we are to work willingly at whatever we do as though we were working for the Lord Himself (paraphrased). We're not to work in His glory as a means to an earthly ends, nor are we to work to please the people around us. Serve them? Yes. Please them? No.

Do you feel the needling in the back of your mind? The one that says, "YES! That's it! That's where you're supposed to be!" Is it confirmed often, but you haven't yet taken the steps? THAT is what I'm talking about. When ten different people ask me why I haven't written in a while, then three different friends forward me an email about an upcoming writer's conference, and then I participate in a workshop to determine my God-breathed gifts in my life and WRITING comes up number one? That's it. That's where I'm supposed to be. My lack of follow through despite God-given directives has directly resulted in the uneasy, restless feeling I've had this year, my year of CONNECT. Because I just simply haven't.

What it is for you? What keeps you up at night and gets your heart racing? Come with me. Come as I unabashedly write from the heart, reach out to others, and fulfill the call in my life at this moment in time with joy. And you do the same. Follow that small voice. The Holy Spirit is strong, and He confirms your gifts. Come with me.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

Ephesians 2:10

xoxo, K.

When Actions and Passions Meet

Every week, a whole heap of fabulous women get together and bravely write for Five Minute Friday: five minutes of writing without thinking, without planning. Just the sweet written word through the clicks of the keys, or the pen on the page. Today's prompt is... Meet

Go.

You've been there (Oh, please tell me you've been there!), when you've been moving through the motions, but your actions and heart songs don't meet anywhere on the same playing field. And when this happens, when your life looks nothing like the passions resounding deep inside your soul, you wake up one day to find yourself floundering among the masses, unsure of how you got there and questioning how to return.

Returning to the basics almost makes you cry, because the "what I want to be when I grow up..." is such a distant and blurry memory, you hardly recognize the one you were so long ago.

But what if I told you this: that if you give yourself the chance to truly dig deep, to truly look around you, and to give yourself the chance, you could have those things. The things that make your heart pitta-pat and the things that make you move and sway, so your life begins to take shape in a way where actions meet your passions.

What if I told you it was directly related to obedience to your calling, and that the longer you ignore it, the more restless you feel: dangling on the edge of something mediocre, wondering when your life will mesh with your dreams?

Stop.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you,

Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Oh, #FMF how you tease! So thankful for this community of beautiful writers, following their pen each week, even when the words are slow to come. Hope you have a great weekend!

xoxo, k.

Locked Places (Five Minute Friday: Door)

Every week, a whole heap of fabulous women get together and bravely write for Five Minute Friday: five minutes of writing without thinking, without planning. Just the sweet written word through the clicks of the keys, or the pen on the page. Today's prompt is... Door

Go.

Initially the blackness of the room engulfed her, but as her eyes adjusted, the scene before her took shape: A room of many doors, of all different sizes and designs. And though she couldn't see beyond them, she knew if she stayed inside she'd be hidden there for eternity. Decidedly, she reached for the knob closest to her, but she knew as soon as she touched it: locked. Again and again, as she attempted each door in the circular room, panic rose to her throat.

I'm trapped. The breath of words barely passed through her lips. All the doors are locked.

Fear took over her heart, her mind.

But in her deepest despair, when the room was at its blackest, a breath of voice washed over her soul, while a white light began to pierce the darkened room.

Peace to you!

The voice ushered in, resounding through the curved walls, taking its stake among the doors. And it was at that moment the voice covered her with peace and perfect joy. Fear replaced by this Spirit, in which she received wholly and without question.

***

It's so easy to hide, in the locked places of our souls: contemplating our past hurts, our unknown identities... where it's quiet, and no one bothers us. But there is freedom in breaking away from these locked places, the places where we think no one could understand. Where no one could relate, or forgive, or assist.

The Enemy wants this: for us to be alone on our journey, to not seek out those around us. He wants us hidden behind these closed doors, covered in the darkness of solitude.

But God desires something different for our hearts. He desires for us a community of others in our lives, each person holding a key to each door of our hearts. He wants to wash us with His Holy Spirit, so we may rejoice amidst the suffering of this life. Hiding alone in the darkness does nothing but keep this gift out of arms reach.

Stop.

Well, that may have taken me 8 minutes. Or ten. But who's counting really? ;) Hope y'all have a blessed weekend!

xoxo, k.

My Wrestling Place

I recently took a bit of a respite trip to a magical place where peace is woven in and out of the fibers of the walls. Where God resides in the hearts of all who enter, and where I rediscovered my life-giving gifts from our Father Almighty. Thank you for letting me reflect on those days in this space.

I'm not where I thought I would be.

Mother? Yes.

Wife? Yes.

Friend? Daughter? Neighbor? Yes. All of those things.

What I didn't expect was this floundering of my soul; this anticipation of being great, or accomplishing something amazing, and then waking up every morning to find that the earth hasn't shattered because of the accomplishments in my life. I didn't change the world today. Nobody noticed my completed tasks. Each morning the sun comes up, and I find myself on repeat. Nothing changed. Same routine.

And that's the problem: my childhood perceptions of what my life should be are so far from where I have ended up. It's not necessarily that I had some grand vision of what it would look like, but rather, what it would feel like.

Kristin Kuda. Mid-life crisis at the age of 34.

It comes down to feeling so small and insignificant in this world -- a world filled with evil and pain and heartache -- that I have such a hard time recognizing my worth. The enormity of these things take over, and those roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter? Well, they just don't seem as big...

Because the hillside I'm overlooking is grand, and the thunder of pouring rain consumes my every thought.  Our Holy Father is revealed in every living and breathing thing around me, and my enemy sneaks into the ripples of water coursing down the roof as he whispers, "You'll never be as significant as these things."

I believe him, because the monotony of my life feels like nothing close to the glorious sound of rain and birds and earth surrounding me. And right before I am wholly consumed by it all -- the nothingness and monotony and the insignificance -- a breeze blows from the West and I hear His call:

Peace be with you.

Peace be with you.

He says it twice because I didn't believe it the first time. He says it twice because I am but flesh and bone and broken and sinful. I believed the enemy when he told me I didn't matter, and I believed the enemy when he said my purpose wasn't God-breathed. And I believed him when he told me my soul was impure and would never truly be forgiven.

But, God.

But God is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong doing. (1 John 1:8-9)

But, God.

But God has made a covenant with us and has put His laws in our hearts, and has written them in our minds. (Heb 10:15-16)

But, God.

But God has given me a Spirit not of timidity, but of power, and of love, and of self-discipline. (2 Tim 1:7)

So, instead of feeling small, and unworthy and insignificant in this large, all consuming world, I will cling to the prayer Paul blessed upon us:

...that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes to you through Jesus Christ, for the glory and praise of God. (Phil 1:9-11)

Faith is a confidence in God that persists, even when the questions remain unanswered.

Faith trusts God even when circumstances seem to contradict His promises.

Faith rests firmly on the knowledge that God is faithful and His promises are True. God asks only for our obedience and faithfulness to assure our usefulness in our own period of history. In this, He gives us freedom to act on our life-giving gifts, freedom to see the beauty in the mundane, freedom to live our lives fully, regardless of our preconceived notions and idyllic plans.

I see now: the beauty of it all, the power of normal, and the beauty in routine.

xoxo, K.

**
Sharing with all the ladies on this Monday! Check out some beautiful writing here.

Week 4: God Does Not Resent You

God Does Not Resent You

The first time I read those words, they hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. And even though it was two weeks ago, they continue to resonate like a sounding gong over and over and over again.

God Does Not Resent You

The people pleaser that I am, I don't like making a stink about things, or really being much of a bother to anyone. Apparently this translates to all things divine as well. I'm a self-righteous God-pleaser, and I'd hate to bother Him for anything, really, so sometimes I just keep my brain quiet, as to not disturb Him in all of His business.

There was a time in my life that I don't like to think about. So many great things happened during that time, but one part of me kept my heart in a state of unrest: my ignoring the gentle tugs of the Lord's call. He would whisper, Come to me and I will give you peace, and I responded with the equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and singing, "LA LA LA LA" as loud as I could. I didn't want to hear about His mercy. His peace. His forgiveness. His redemption.

Why? It wasn't as if I didn't believe He was there. I am fortunate enough to have known about God's presence for most of my life. But the thoughts in my head sang the tune of, I'm just not that important. I don't want to be a bother. My troubles aren't big enough. Just little 'ol me. Nothing to see here.

It's funny, looking back on those few years of my life, and I'm able to see His hand in all of it. Without my asking, He placed me in the safety of His arms, saving me from myself and my self-destructive behavior. He knew how the story would twist and turn, with my eyes slowly changing direction and refocusing on His grace and forgiveness. Even though I blatantly and purposefully ignored Him while claiming just not wanting to be a bother, He actively pursued me and my heart. He slowly showed me what true acceptance of His love meant.

The thing about God? He doesn't care where you live, or what you've done. He actively seeks each of us as individuals. Despite war and famine and poverty, and all of the things that seem significantly more than little old you, He still cares. And He'll still pursue your heart. Because He wants you to pursue His. God shows us this perfect way to live, because he wants us to live in Him fully so we can show love and kindness to others despite their place in life.

Those years ago I think, despite my child-like response to His call, deep down I knew the Truth. I knew there was spiritual warfare taking place for my soul specifically. And He went (and goes) up to bat for me every. single. time. He let me fail, and learn, and grow. But He never left.

Because Christ always wins.

No matter your past. No matter your present. No matter your wrongs. No matter your actions. He does not resent you asking for help. He does not resent you for seeking His guidance. He does not resent you for constantly pleading for His hand in your life.

God wants you. All of you.

xoxo, k.


Today's post was inspired by the completion of my small group's study of Beth Moore's Children of the Day. Go read it. Right now. No compensations here, just spreading some good 'ole love.

Need some more inspiration this Monday? Head on over here to enjoy some other courageous writers!

http://www.blessedbutstressed.com/2015/01/26/follow-god-not-fellow-christians/

One Year Bible Week 1: A Personal Pity Party

Wow! One week of 2015 has gone by. As far as my one word for the year, connect, staying to my "Technology Hours" has been the most trying by far. It's amazing how often I find myself reaching for my phone or computer out of habit. While challenging, I am positive that I'm on the right track! I'll keep you posted.

In my one word connect I've also been challenged by one of my people to read the Bible in a year. To keep myself a bit more accountable, I'll try my best to pick a verse from the prior weeks' readings and reflect here, as well. Maybe I'll even turn it into a link-up at some point!

The Bible that was gifted to me is the New Living Translation, and is laid out with an excerpt from the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. A little something for everyone :) I love that it's laid out from day to day: no flipping around or checklists or keeping track of what I've done or what I need to do. Translation: no excuses for this momma! I hope in sharing my readings each week, I'm not only keeping myself accountable, but also show you that it can be done!

**
Week 1

Don't sin by letting anger control you.

Think about it overnight and remain silent.

Offer sacrifices in the right spirit,
and trust the Lord.

Psalm 4:4-5

When I was a little girl, I remember hearing the Old Testament stories about blood sacrifices and fasting. It all sounded so intense: blood and gore and starving themselves for days. Intimidating, really, to a young girl afraid of her own shadow. But as I grew, I understood that the blood sacrifices  were replaced by the one true sacrifice of Jesus' death on the cross. What I didn't get, and really didn't start to understand until recently, is the lesson in the need for daily sacrifices in our everyday lives.

Have you ever been asked to do something you didn't want to do? Recently, some things fell into my lap that I didn't feel were really my responsibility. I grumbled and groaned to myself about how it wasn't fair, and how it wasn't my job, and how I didn't want to have anything to do with the situation. I kept silent because I knew it was my own heart in the wrong, but I couldn't get past that deep dark feeling of a personal pity party.

Offer sacrifices in the right spirit. 

But what if? What if swallowing our pride and being the blessing to others is the point? What if the fasting and sacrifices are simply starving ourselves of pride and entitlement, and instead we adorn ourselves with humility and a giving spirit? These daily sacrifices we're called to do: they're simple on paper, but in reality, it can feel like death to put the needs of others in front of our own. But that's why it's a sacrifice: the sinful nature of us mere humans is to look to ourselves first, when in fact, God calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Did I want to complete those tasks asked of me? No. But the more I meditated on these verses, the more I was able to see the blessing in my ability to complete them. I saw the burden lifted from a friend who was knee deep in responsibilities, fear, and inability to complete them herself. When our sacrifices come from the right places, blessings abound.

**

Hope you all have a great week! I don't know about y'all, but we're getting back into routine after two weeks of doing absolutely nothing. It's been grand, but I. Am. READY.

Happy Monday! Need some more inspiration to get you started off on the right foot? Head on over to Inspire Me Monday!

xoxo, k.

When Your Calling Isn't Saving All the Things in All the World

And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Esther 4:14b

Maybe it's the onslaught of commercials vying for my attention, or the never-ending post after post on my newsfeed of the needy in this world. Maybe it's just this way during Christmas because people feel a little deeper; they see the need and just have to do something. Because it's Christmas, and that's what you're supposed to do.

And then a conversation my core group had the other week in Community Bible Study really got me thinking about serving, our own ministries, and looking at the big picture. Especially in this Advent season as we wait for the arrival of the Messiah.

"I just feel like we're not doing enough during this Christmas season."

"My kids are too young to serve the poor. What can I teach them about giving?"

"We just don't have the money to give right now. I feel like I'm failing this year."

I think sometimes we see the big things others are called to do in this life, and then it gets so overwhelming, and so awe-inspiring, that we forget the little things. Is going to a far off country and ministering to the poor important? YES. It's amazing. And I would love, at some point in my life, to be able to do that thing. But. As a wise women once said,

"Your ministry is right between your own two feet."

-Jill Briscoe

Ministry doesn't always mean the big thing. It doesn't always mean traveling to far off places and discovering what true poverty looks like. True poverty is often right in our own backyards. And here's the kicker: you don't need a lot of money. You don't need a lot of time. You just need yourself, and a giving heart.

So we came up with some ideas. Child friendly, inexpensive ideas, to give in this holiday season, even when you feel like your little thing isn't as much as the big thing... You're wrong. Your little thing may be just the thing a person needs today...

* Hand out smiles. Be deliberate. Be genuinely happy. Look people in the eyes. Don't think it will make someone's day? Think again.

* Offer a hand. In the grocery store. At Wal-Mart. Push a grocery cart. Help put bags in the trunk. The biggest lesson Miss E has learned this year? The blessing of helping. She's seen the look on the woman's face when we offered to help her with her groceries, to push the cart back to the store for her. Blessing others is often a bigger blessing to the one who serves.

*Surprise gifts. A small gift card on someone's windshield. Baby wipes in the Target restroom (because haven't you been the mom with the explosive diaper and wipes are in the car, and not in your purse where they're supposed to be?!). A candy bar for the check out person. A compliment. Pay it forward in the drive-thru.

The list goes on and on. I think sometimes we just get stuck in our own busy and distracted places; it's hard to just look up and see the need immediately in front of us. What I do know? We have been placed in our current situations, neighborhoods, families, communities for such a time as this. Take advantage of it. Live it fully. Use the ministry that's been placed before you, and the blessings received will abound.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in very good work.
2 Corinthians 9:8

My biggest prayer for each of you, each and every day of this Advent season, is this: You're given the opportunity to serve, and to be served by others. That you see the smallest of needs set before you, and you don't remain silent. That you act upon these inklings of the Holy Spirt, and you abound in His blessings. His grace.

Peace and joy to you in this sweet Christmastime!

xoxo, k.

Five Minute Friday: Dear

Every week, a whole heap of fabulous women get together and bravely write for Five Minute Friday. Today's prompt is...

Dear

Go.

Something about this holiday season has me in a bit of a funk, and I just can't seem to grasp ahold of the reasons or the whys. I'm finding myself floating along, doing the tasks, admiring the glow and twinkle of lights, but I just can't seem to dive in and really live it.

Stuck.

But there's something about the sweet sound of laughter in a basement, coffee cups splayed on a table, inhibitions left at the door, and the undeniable sense of safety. Of love. There's something about leftover Thanksgiving goodies as we bare our souls to dear friends, relating our stories of God's glory, our failures, His promises, our shortcomings, His perfection.

There's something about the lifting up and the digging deep and the keeping it real. These dear women keep me focused on the One who does all, knows all, loves all. 

"...your faith is growing more and more, and the love you have for one another is increasing..."

2 Thessalonians 1:3

You see? These women? These encouragers of faith and supporters of life? They were designed specifically for you. He did that for you. Embrace them. Grow them. Love them. Whether they are right in front of you face to face, or if they're in the virtual community you call home each week. Love them as He loves you.

Stop.

Y'all! December is kicking me right in the rear. No joke. In addition to extra family fun, Christmas cheer, and all other things crazy, I started my own business. I know. I've probably lost my mind. (it's so exciting, though! More on that later.) But one thing is for sure: I MISS YOU! So I promise to write more in the upcoming weeks, especially as we anticipate the sweet celebration of Christ's birth. In the meantime, I'll keep checking in on you, and you keep checking in on me. Deal? 

xoxo, k.

Five Minute Friday: Notice

Every week, a whole heap of fabulous women get together and bravely write for Five Minute Friday. Today's prompt is...

Notice

Go.

The journey has been so long. Years and years, really. So I hadn't really noticed the differences. I hadn't noticed how You had changed me from the inside out, how my views have changed, how my world view is through an entirely new set of eyes. I hadn't noticed, until a stranger stopped me in Babies R Us when her words knocked me flat off my feet.

You are so joyful. What's your secret?

I know what my response should have been: Jesus! Jesus Christ! He is my secret! And He can be yours!

But I was so floored. So surprised by the joy of Christ oozing from my soul without me even realizing it, that I forgot to give Him credit.

I think of that woman all the time. Her broad smile, her warm gestures, her eyes seeking. She noticed me. She noticed Christ in my life, before I saw it for myself. I wish I could find her. Wrap her in my arms and tell her, You can have this, too! I mourn that day. I celebrate that day. I imagine the Day she and I will sit together, reminiscing on the old days, smiling knowing smiles, sharing our lives.

Stop.

Today? Notice the details. Notice those around you. Make connections.

Have a fantastic weekend!

xoxo, k.

Good Enough. Again.

Because the message bears repeating, and I still can't grasp the concept. Because even when I think I'm finished with this very message, my sweet new friend texts me and says, "I just expect too much from myself. And then I fail. Thank you for sharing your experiences and love for God."

She sees my love for God. She may be just one, but she sees it.

And as the tears rolled down my cheeks at the poignancy of her words, it hit me. Last night, I sat for more than five minutes for the first time since 6 am, and couldn't slow my mind enough to enjoy the moment of quiet bodies asleep upstairs. Surely I should be doing something. There's so much to be done. And then the list of a thousand to do's pops into my head, and I had to reread what I just read on my phone and rewind the show I was watching.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Somehow I've persuaded my thoughts to tell my "stay at home mom" self I don't have any excuse but to be busy all. the. time. Because if I'm staying at home, the judgment police will show up on the doorstep of my mind revealing my worth to be solely measured in house chores completed, baths given, and pinterest projects conquered.

Because I feel like if I'm not 100% to all the people, then I'm nothing at all to anyone. 

Somehow we've convinced ourselves, that at home or not, children or not, married or not, that we're just not ever going to measure up. And I don't know about you, but when I get to that point? I just stop. I freeze. Because I can't move any further into that place, but I can't turn myself around either. I know it's destructive, but I can't seem to get out of it. We've been told these things so often that it has crept into the cracks of our souls and we just can't seem to come up for air to see the Truth that lies ahead.

What if I told you that these are lies and there's a Truth so big and so important, that it could change your life? What if it meant that you're good enough, and the you  you are at this very moment is meant for a greater purpose? That the hard moments you feel you've failed the most were placed there to bear the burdens of others around you? To show others that we're all in it together?

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

What a beautiful picture. Changes your perspective, yes? To be God's workmanship. Just as the sun and the moon and the stars. He wouldn't have it any other way, the way you do your life. The way you throw yourself into house chores by night and into your children's lives or your corporate job or your marriage by day.

This work that we do. We are called to it. And the beauty of it all is this: We aren't in it alone. If anything, there is One who is there behind the intricacies and details of every move we make.

You know what that gives me?  

Peace. 

Comfort. 

Joy.

You are good enough. And so much more.

xoxo, k.

Giving Thanks {One}

It's November. And my head is spinning from a whirlwind of encouragement and love spread through the month of October. So much so, that I have no idea where to go from here! But I do know this: I will write. I will encourage. And I hope you'll continue with me on my journey.

I'm trying something new (for me) this month. Since I try to hook up with some inspiring folks on Mondays, I'm going to use this, the first day of the week, as a common theme throughout the month. I'll still post some crafty crafts from time to time, but I think it's clear that God's plan is not for me to glorify Him in that way!

This morning, as my brain lay empty in the vast wasteland that some people call "writer's block," I read a verse, and how fitting it was on this first Monday of November:

Everything is for your benefit, so that grace extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to increase God's glory.

2 Corinthians 4:15

Wasn't that exactly what my 31 Days of Encouragement about? It's simple: the more you put in, the more you get out. The more grace extended, the more and more people receive.

Here's the thing about the enemy: He can't stand this. His sole purpose is to separate people. to find a fault then dig his heels deep so that the crevice of negativity, and destroy the power of relationships we have in one another.

How do we stop it?

We give thanks. Even in those who are driving us crazy and have weird personality ticks, we thank our sweet Lord for their presence in our lives. We find the good. We find the light. Darkness can't live in those places. When we seek just the smallest glimmer, the tiniest fractal of light, we defeat the enemy and grace carries on.

Happy Monday, friends!

xoxo, k.

Day 31: Five Minute Friday: Leave

Every week, a whole heap of fabulous women get together and write for Five Minute Friday. This month is no different, despite my 31 Day Writer's Challenge. Today's prompt is...

Leave

Go

I'm kind of in love with the fact that this last day of our 31 Day challenge ends in a Five Minute Friday response. Why? Because it ensures us a clean break. A breath of goodbye. A chance to move on without going on and on.

All month we've talked about encouragement, and while I pray that I've touched you in some small way each day, you've been the hero in this story. The outpouring of love and support for these long days has been completely overwhelming and not at all expected. Although, shouldn't it have been? Expected? I don't think I could imagine any less from each and every one of you.

Since my gift cannot in any way surpass what you have already given to me, I'll leave you with this:

Hope.

The thing about hope is that it doesn't matter where you are, what challenges lie before you, and how long it may take to get you there. Hope gives us courage to get to the other side. Hope waits while we sift through the nitty-gritty. And hope provides a pathway even when our eyes can barely see what's coming next.

We did it, friends. Together. Thank you. I pray you find encouragement in each of your days, that you seek out hope, and find the courage to be brave in whatever challenge you may face.

Stop

background source

xoxo, k.

If you'd like access to any of the 31 Days for this year, click on this button:

Day 30: Brave

As I drove down the highway with the rain pelting the window, I looked in the rearview mirror to see those sweet faces dancing to the beat of the radio. And the tears came rolling down. The words carried such weight for this particular time in my life, that I could barely catch my breath.

We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives

It’s time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive.

I had been hardly surviving, but I’ve been called to thrive. I’d been so focused on the present moment: the dirty dishes and never-ending laundry, the piles of dog hair taking over my life, and the imperfect house, that I had forgotten our purpose here: To bravely thrive in this broken world. To be the light.

But my story doesn’t start on that rainy day. It started the day we up and moved our family from our comfy-cozy lifestyle with great friends and a network as big as the Capitol building to depend on. It started when we plopped ourselves in the (seemingly) middle of nowhere with no one to call on for eggs, a quick chat or a reality check.

It was just the five of us. And a bunch of deer. And spiders the size of my head.

Really.

But then He began to provide.

Urging us to go to church one random spring morning in a town we’ve never even heard of. Finding a realtor who understands our hearts, and sought to make sure we were taken care of in not one, but two homes to live in this year. Placing the sweet angel of a woman in a park on a random early fall day, who had the courage to invite me to join a group of preschool moms when I had no one to call ‘friend.’

I didn’t realize it at the time, but God was giving me little chunks of courage. Little bite-sized morsels to tell me, “I’m here. Be brave, Kristin. You were called to thrive in this place.”

Twelve months. It took me twelve months to see the bravery in it all. Bravery in my life has been to take one step forward without actually knowing what lies ahead: moving beyond fear and the comfort of the known by reaching out praying for someone to catch me.

What I didn’t know that first day we travelled to our new hometown, was what brave actually looked like. I didn’t know bravery meant to do what the heartstrings of your soul were telling you to do, even if it didn’t make sense. I didn’t know that bravery meant asking for help in a community of women that already seem filled to the brim with commitments to others. And I didn’t know bravery would lead to this very place of stepping so far outside my comfort zone it makes my palms sweat.

So when the days wear on, the tantrums persist, and there isn’t enough Frozen in the world to get you through the day, let the tiny morsels of courage help get you through. You’ll find that you’ll not only just survive. You’ll thrive.

xoxo, k.

Day 29: Your People (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of "Your People." If you haven't had the chance, go ahead and read Part 1 about knowing people. It'll be worth your time. Promise :)

It was unseasonably warm for early spring, which meant the neighbors were out, starving for human interaction after suffering a winter that beat us with snow storm after snowstorm, week after week. Pleasantries were made, we caught up on the latest in each other's lives, and then the conversation changed course. It was a simple invitation, really. But to me, it was something that was completely out of my comfort zone.

"I lead a book club. Our next book is called Power of a Praying Wife. Would you like to join us?"

Had it not been for another neighbor nodding her head enthusiastically "yes," I probably would have politely declined. But she did, so I did, too, and somehow found myself the following Wednesday evening in a room full of Christian women, sharing God's word through Stormie Omartian's prayers for our husbands.

I was sure I'd be found out as an impostor at some point that night. They knew so much of the Bible, and prayed aloud with eloquence, and had confidence in their faith. I wanted to know more. I yearned for it. With the tiny fingers and toes growing inside me, who turned out to be our first daughter, I knew that I was called for something more. That I wasn't where I should be in my faith, and something had to change.

But here's the kicker: They never called me out. They never shouted, "Impostor!" and ushered me out the door. They listened. They commiserated. They held my hand. They prayed. They met me right where I was, and never made me feel less than.

Three and a half years later, we moved from the cozy comfort of knowing our neighbors, late night talks on our front stoop, and all of our kiddos running from house to house. Saying goodbye was hard, but it was right for our family.

Saying goodbye to those sweet women who met each week on a Wednesday? Heartbreaking. They filled me up in ways unimaginable. They accepted me for who I was without question, they demonstrated outward faith, and lived it outright each and every day of their lives.

Life changing relationships. They were my people.

This sweet going away present hangs in my office :) 

When we moved down to the country, I have to admit I initially basked in the freedom of not knowing anyone. But as the days grew short and winter creeped in, I began to realize something was missing from my life. My people. I missed my people (and my house). No visit or phone call could replace the consistent filling up on God's Word and sweet fellowship that was no longer a constant in my life. Don't get me wrong. I studied the Bible more than I had in any other time in my life, but God doesn't call us to worship alone. We thrive in community, and as Christmas came and went, I knew what was missing, but I had no idea how to find it.

After the first of the year, a few girls from my MOPS table were getting together one night, and I was urged by Mr. Kuda to get out there and make friends. So I went, and by the time the evening had dwindled down to just me and one other mom, I just knew I had to say something.

"Do you want to start a small group Bible Study? Like without our children? At my house? Every week?"

My friend encouraged me to get started, to send out feelers, and to just start. She was my people.

If you had told me twelve months ago that I would be meeting each week with a group of women that I hadn't yet even met, and that they were some of the sweetest friendships of my life, I would have laughed at you. I hold these women so dearly and closely to my heart. Things aren't always tidy. We don't all necessarily agree. But there is an unconditional respect and love that oozes out of each and every one of them. They are my people.

Something happens when you get face to face, dig down deep, and share your life. I'm not saying that you need to do this with every person you meet. But you need people. People you can count on. People who love you unconditionally, but speak truth and hold you accountable to your beliefs, even when you don't want them to. Maybe to you this doesn't look like a weekly Bible study. Maybe it's a monthly book club, or an annual trip with your girls, or even just meeting up for a cup of coffee. But friends, you need people.

There's such an important lesson here, and it bears repeating: Get out there and know people. Because you don't know how one small interaction with an acquaintance can turn your life around. Because you don't have to live this life alone, and you shouldn't have to. And most importantly, because God calls us to community. He has designed His Church so that we hold one another up in encouragement through support, love, and honor. He is My People.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25 (added emphasis, my own)

Is what I'm saying striking a chord? It starts with you. It starts with a question. Know people. Love people. Encourage People.

xoxo, k.

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Day 28: Your People (Part 1)

"She has her hands full. She is so busy. I'm sure she doesn't have time for me."

Jennifer just had her fourth baby, and even though she'd tell you otherwise with complete honesty, this girl has it together.

She's gorgeous, has a loving husband, and just a beautiful family. She's a Godly woman, smart and well read, and seems to find time in her day to do things that I only wish I could do. Like sew a dress from scratch and wear it that very same day.

Who does that?

I had the thought to invite her to our small group on Tuesday nights, and those words popped in: "She has her hands full. She is so busy. I'm sure she doesn't have time for me." In the span of 30 seconds, I reduced an acquaintance's own feelings into negative feelings toward myself. I had made her busyness about me! Doing so not only disallowed me to build a deeper relationship with someone whom I could very likely have a great friendship, but it completely eliminated her opinion on the matter.

In effect, I took her rights away, before our friendship began.

Have you been on the other side of this? When I was working full time after our first child, I heard it spoken to me a lot: You're so busy with work and Miss E, otherwise I would have called you over! Or You must be exhausted! You should just rest when you have some down time.

Each time I heard it spoken aloud, my soul was crushed. Was I not good enough? Was I not allowed time with other women because I was too busy? Who gets to decide that?

The thing about deciding another's fate is that we simply don't have that right. We belittle others, thinking we have their best interest at heart, but in reality, we just don't know how other people are getting by.

Invite her over. Say hello with a smile. Usher in a cup of coffee and sit down. Ask questions. We can't truly live in community with one another if we don't take risks, putting ourselves out there.  Only then can we dig down deep and find each other right where we are. Newly sewn dress and all.

Stay tuned for Part Two of "Your People" for Day 29! In the mean time, get out there and know people!

xoxo, k.

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Day 27: Your Superhero

Happy Monday, folks! You know what's better than writing about encouragement for 31 days? Encouraging others to write about encouragement, too! I hope you'll enjoy one of my dearest friends, Karen, as she gives us awesome suggestions to encourage the men in our lives.

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superhero

A being with extraordinary physical or mental powers, far beyond the

range of normal human ability, who uses these powers to protect the

innocent and for the general good. (source)

“Go lay down and scream help!” my son ordered.  He had just received his new Buzz Lightyear costume in the mail for Halloween and he quickly put it on and was ready to play.   With Mommy in “distress”, he flew into the room, shot down the bad guys with his Astro Blaster laser, and rescued me.  I expressed my gratitude to him for saving me from the Evil Emporer Zurg.  He walked away with his chest proud and a smile on his face.   I am sure this scene is one that is reenacted in many households that contain preschool boys.  All boys want to be our superhero.

But boys grow up and outgrow their superhero costumes.   They stop acting out their rescues.  Surprisingly though, they never outgrow their desire to be someone’s superhero.  

Ladies, inside every man and therefore every husband is a little boy, wanting to be their wife’s superhero. 

Who would Superman be without Lois Lane?  Or Batman without Rachel Dawes?  Ironman without Pepper Potts?   Have you ever stopped to wonder why that is the case?   These women provide encouragement, support, and love to their men.  These men wouldn’t be who they are without these ladies. 

Every day, when our husbands walk out into society, they are faced with extraordinary pressures of providing for their family, juggling commitments at work with time with their family, and dealing with bosses who possibly belittle them.  On TV, they are portrayed as buffoons who can’t do anything right except hold a remote and a beer at the same time.  Sure, these issues are not as extreme as saving the world from nuclear destruction or space alien invasions, but to the men we love, these burdens weigh them down just the same.   Who is there to build them back up when the world has beat them down?   

You are.

Our husbands need to be encouraged within our home.  We mean well, but unfortunately, without even thinking, we are so quick to discourage: 

Maybe he does a load of laundry, but ends up putting your favorite sweater in the dryer?  Do you get mad at him for ruining the sweater, or thank him for trying? 

Maybe he doesn’t change diapers the “right” way, but at least he is tackling toxic waste disposal.   Do you barge in and take over his attempt? Or more, do you squelch his courage, and then tell him to do it like mom?

Maybe he cooks the kid’s breakfast, but leaves the kitchen not as clean as he started (the way YOU left it the night before).  Do you first thank him for cooking, or just complain about the mess? 

Why are we so quick to criticize?  Men will not always do things the same way we do them.  But we have the opportunity to make our husbands feel like superheroes.   Yes! We have THAT much power with our words and our gestures.  We can make him feel like a hero or a zero.  Which will you choose? 

So, let's put our words into action. Here are four practical ways to make your husband feel like a superhero:

{Express Gratitude}
Thank him for the little things. To him, they are the big things.

{Build Him Up} 
Tell him daily, hourly, even every minute if you feel so inclined, what you love about him. Remind him who he is before he walks out into a world that tells him who he isn't. Tell him he is a great husband, a great friend, a hard worker, and a smart man.

{Publicly Support Him and Disagree With Him in Private}
A superhero wants his leading lady to stand by him in the face of a challenge. This includes in front of your children, your girlfriends, and especially in front of his friends.

{Be Ready With a Smile and a Kiss}
After combating an evil villain or saving the world, the first thing a superhero wants to see is the love of his life. No matter how hard your day was, when he walks in the door each night after facing the world, greet him with a hug and a kiss.

Not so hard, right? Now get to it! And, if you're not married? Encourage the men in your life. After all, they all just want to be your superhero.

**
Karen is married to her devoted (albeit, at times bogged down with alien invasions) husband, and they have two awesome kiddos. On any given day, you can find her running, making others smile, and there's a pretty good chance she'll have a cup of coffee in hand. Karen has served in her local MOPS group for five years, and is currently serving under her church's women's ministry team, where she is able to follow her passion for encouraging women in all stages of life, helping them to realize they don't have to carry their burdens alone. Please email Kristin if you'd like to reach Karen directly!

Can we talk about how fantastic (and totally doable!) those suggestions are? So thrilled to have had Karen join us this month. See y'all tomorrow!

xoxo, k.