Day 22: You Aren't Good Enough

As I continue to stare at the title of this post, I start to believe it. It becomes real for me, and then the seeds of doubt and inability and yuckiness of it all come together in this giant heap of a mess that is me, and the words jump at me, growing infinitely larger:

You Are Not Good Enough

We know about the beast of perfectionism, and how its goal is never-ending and, with that, never attainable. But this is something more. This is something that is spoon fed to us from the day of our birth. It's shown to us in news feeds of perfect families without a care in the world, it's shown to us in every commercial ever made, and it's even present in our daily interaction with teachers, friends, family.

I'm going to put this out there, just so you know how this story ends. You are, in fact, GOOD ENOUGH. Always. We've talked about perspective around this joint, and that, my friends, is what it comes down to. Even still, I think it's time we revisit how we view ourselves. If we can't change the perspective we have of ourselves, how can we embolden others around us?

When this is spoken to me, "Hey Kristin, next time you do this, do you mind doing y instead of x?" I hear instead, "Hey Kristin, you've done a horribly terrible job. Do you mind never trying to do anything of worth again? And in the meantime? Just know that everyone does a better job than you."

Wait, what? Maybe that's taking it to the extreme, but in this season of changing diapers and always being someone else's need, maybe I just feel like my good enough isn't, well, enough. Something tells me I'm not the only one. Something tells me that there are way too many of us sitting at home telling ourselves that we've failed. That we've failed and we will never make it up.

The thing about this unspoken weariness and never-ending feeling of unworthiness? She has a companion, and her name is guilt. The problem we face with guilt is once it starts? It's like a tiny snowball gaining momentum down a hill. Guilt tends to slowly build up, but as it gains traction it gets larger and larger until it's out of control. For me this has a common result: I will find myself just sitting in space not doing anything because I haven't done anything. And then feel guilty about it, because that's what we do.

Here's where I'm wrong (and perhaps you?): Guilt is our own doing. Is it real? YES. But. We make our own lists of to-dos and, as a result, set ourselves up for success or failure. I don't know about you, but what if we nipped it in the bud? What if we woke up with one goal in mind, and that was to be good enough for this day?

I'm not saying settle for mediocrity, but rather know in your heart that you're doing today's best. Not only that, but know that today's best looks different from tomorrow's best. And sometimes your (self-determined) worst is Jennifer's best, whose is different from Karen's best.

Are you following me here? What a relief! The best part of sharing my heart is not just getting it out in the open, but knowing you're going through it, too. Power in numbers!

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I don't have any epic quotes or life-changing words of wisdom to share here, but what I do know is this: You're not alone. We're in it together. Even if you're tired and broken down, you have a sister here that is in it with you.

You're doing it, aren't you? You're getting through the tough ones, one day at a time, and you're doing it. Way to go, friend!


xoxo, k.