Day 21: Your Time

Would you believe me if I told you that I didn't really get what it meant to be a mom until, like, two years in?

Which, because Miss E turns four in just a bit, means I'm batting at .500.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine. For me, it may mean less sleep, and a whole lot more coffee, but it's what has gotten me from "Mom who is also Kristin" to "Kristin who is also Mom."

Alone time. 

That's it. It has been my saving grace, and restored my sanity more than once. Finding time to be myself has not only helped me be a better mom, but a better wife, friend and neighbor.

Why? Because when we lose ourselves, in whatever it is that we do every day, we lose the person God intended us to be. He didn't say, "Be a mom! And that's it! Nothing else!" He didn't say, "You are chosen to be a nurse, and now you must nurse, all day long, 24/7!"

And here's the kicker. When I was so focused solely on being a mom, I was showing my kids that it's all right to throw yourself into just one thing and never look up or even take a breath. What lesson does this teach them?

Being a mom (or whatever you happen to identify with at this current time) doesn't mean I'm only a mom, and using my quiet time each day has helped me to identify what it is I'm supposed to do other than mother.  God tells us to encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11), but we can't possibly do that until we are able to take a moment each day and see what He has in store for us.

How do we do that? I'm thrilled you asked!

Designate a time
It doesn't have to be the same time every day, nor does it need to be an hour, but in order to make something a habit, it helps to do it consistently, each and every day, for at least 5 minutes. Play with what works for you. My quiet time used to be in the middle of the afternoon, during naps. Now that the kiddos are a little older, that just doesn't work any more.

Designate a place
We have this wingback chair a few feet from the fire place, and it's my favorite nook in the house. It's cushy and cozy, and it helps me to get to a place I can relax and focus.

Designate a mindset
Before (and after) my alone time, I stop myself and take a few breaths. Even if I'm just reading a book or doing some journaling, I take some time to focus on the moment. Reflect on why you're there, what you're doing, and what you want out of your time, even if it's just a few moments out of your day.

Designate a purpose
I read the Bible. It centers me, encourages me, and shows me my path for the day. This may look different to you, but having a purpose in your alone time keeps you focused and consistent.

Designate accountability
Can't seem to make yourself keep to, well, yourself? Tell someone your goal. See if they'll do it with you. Nothing is more motivating than getting a text from my sweet friend at 6 am telling me what she's gotten from her quiet time that morning. Not only does it get me going, but it deepens our friendship.

Don't beat yourself up
Some days, I cannot. Get. Up. Like, at all. Because I'm a mom of two and a wife and a friend. Sometimes I stay up too late or the kiddos wake me up every hour, and I have to make a choice between sheer exhaustion and rest. Rest usually wins in this scenario.

What I do know is this: around two years ago, when I discovered that this quiet time was positively impacting my life on a daily basis, I found that I was able to demonstrate a more well-rounded version of myself. That is what I wanted for my kids.

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Why this? Why now, in this month of encouragement? If we don't take care of ourselves spiritually speaking, we cannot have continual presence as an encourager in this world. It is too much. In the land of Pinterest and Facebook, we simply will never be enough compared to the standards of this world.

Go. Go find your you time. Find yourself, where your identity lies, and you will begin to see the fruit of it as you impact others.

xoxo, k.


  1. I so need alone time with God. I will share a quick story ... My kids knew early on that I rose way before them to have plenty of coffee, read Scriptures & my devotional & pray. One morning, when I was a bit cranky, my son innocently asked me, "Did you have your quiet time today?" When I shook my head, no, he quickly responded, "You really needed to!". The thing was he truly was not being sassy but said it as an observation. And he was right :) Alone time does make a difference. Probably for everyone we encounter as well as ourselves. Wonderful post! So glad I visited from the 31 Dayers FB site!

    1. I love this!! It's such a great example to your kiddos, too :) Thank you for stopping by!

  2. As an introvert, time alone with God is so important. I can't survive a day without it! But alas, it took me awhile to figure it out.

    1. Seriously! I don't know how many times a week I say to myself, "If I had only figured this out in my twenties..." Just fill in the blank :)

  3. Yes! I agree with Anita about the need for alone time with God for introverts. I'm also thinking about what someone has said: "You're a human being, not a human doing." We are more than moms, cooks, chauffeurs, housekeepers, and so on.

    1. Amen, Melissa! I actually didn't realize I was an introvert until recently. It makes so much more sense to me now! I definitely recharge during quiet time. It's absolutely a necessity.

  4. Beautiful. Thanks so much. And I love Melissa's reminder of "you're a human being, not a human doing." Wise words, women!

    1. Seriously! So blessed to have input from these women!

  5. I love this! I feel like as a mom, I always have to be "on" or that it's selfish for me to have time by myself. I act like I'm some sort of heroic mommy martyr which is ridiculous! Marriages and families don't need martyrs...they need spiritually, emotionally whole women.

    1. Becky, you are totally speaking my language. I still have an issue when I tell my kids that I need to do something for myself. Crazy, right? I totally agree with you: Marriages/families don't need martyrs! Can I make a meme for that??

  6. Yes! So important for us to take care of ourselves and take time for rest. I need to remember that even if I'm not a mom. I am not just a Director of Home and Family ministry. I am also a friend, daughter, sister, etc.


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