Which, because Miss E turns four in just a bit, means I'm batting at .500.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine. For me, it may mean less sleep, and a whole lot more coffee, but it's what has gotten me from "Mom who is also Kristin" to "Kristin who is also Mom."
Alone time.
That's it. It has been my saving grace, and restored my sanity more than once. Finding time to be myself has not only helped me be a better mom, but a better wife, friend and neighbor.
Why? Because when we lose ourselves, in whatever it is that we do every day, we lose the person God intended us to be. He didn't say, "Be a mom! And that's it! Nothing else!" He didn't say, "You are chosen to be a nurse, and now you must nurse, all day long, 24/7!"
And here's the kicker. When I was so focused solely on being a mom, I was showing my kids that it's all right to throw yourself into just one thing and never look up or even take a breath. What lesson does this teach them?
Being a mom (or whatever you happen to identify with at this current time) doesn't mean I'm only a mom, and using my quiet time each day has helped me to identify what it is I'm supposed to do other than mother. God tells us to encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11), but we can't possibly do that until we are able to take a moment each day and see what He has in store for us.
How do we do that? I'm thrilled you asked!
Designate a time
It doesn't have to be the same time every day, nor does it need to be an hour, but in order to make something a habit, it helps to do it consistently, each and every day, for at least 5 minutes. Play with what works for you. My quiet time used to be in the middle of the afternoon, during naps. Now that the kiddos are a little older, that just doesn't work any more.
Designate a place
We have this wingback chair a few feet from the fire place, and it's my favorite nook in the house. It's cushy and cozy, and it helps me to get to a place I can relax and focus.
Designate a mindset
Before (and after) my alone time, I stop myself and take a few breaths. Even if I'm just reading a book or doing some journaling, I take some time to focus on the moment. Reflect on why you're there, what you're doing, and what you want out of your time, even if it's just a few moments out of your day.
Designate a purpose
I read the Bible. It centers me, encourages me, and shows me my path for the day. This may look different to you, but having a purpose in your alone time keeps you focused and consistent.
Designate accountability
Can't seem to make yourself keep to, well, yourself? Tell someone your goal. See if they'll do it with you. Nothing is more motivating than getting a text from my sweet friend at 6 am telling me what she's gotten from her quiet time that morning. Not only does it get me going, but it deepens our friendship.
Don't beat yourself up
Some days, I cannot. Get. Up. Like, at all. Because I'm a mom of two and a wife and a friend. Sometimes I stay up too late or the kiddos wake me up every hour, and I have to make a choice between sheer exhaustion and rest. Rest usually wins in this scenario.
What I do know is this: around two years ago, when I discovered that this quiet time was positively impacting my life on a daily basis, I found that I was able to demonstrate a more well-rounded version of myself. That is what I wanted for my kids.
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Go. Go find your you time. Find yourself, where your identity lies, and you will begin to see the fruit of it as you impact others.
xoxo, k.
