Day 6: The Perfectionist

I'm sitting here Sunday night, with 10 different drafts in my arsenal, nothing speaking to me, finding nothing. to. say.

The perfectionist. She's in all of us, but only rears her ugly head when we least expect it. Unfortunately for me, I'm often left feeling paralyzed, and in this case, 2 hours and 38 minutes from Day 6 with nothing to show for it.

I have to say, though, since having kiddos the perfectionist in me has been brought down to a low hum. At least in some areas of my life. Right now? There's stuff on the floor. In multiple rooms. But this is the first time I've had a moment to myself since I woke up to, "Mommy, I made my bed!" And found every stuffed animal within a five mile radius of our house on my daughter's bed. "Thanks for being a big helper, honey."

But this writing space? Somehow the little thoughts of perfectionism have slid into the cracks of my exterior, and just like that she's taken over, deceiving me in believing I'll ever reach anyone on a cool Monday morning in October.

And it's got me thinking about this perfectionist. This thief of joy and benefactor of unattainable ideals.

When I'm a perfectionist, I teach my children it's not ok to make mistakes.
When I'm a perfectionist, I build a wall around myself that doesn't let others see my true self.
When I'm a perfectionist, I waste time worrying about...everything.
When I'm a perfectionist, my facade tells others their best isn't good enough.
When I'm a perfectionist, I miss the true beauty of this life, and as a result I'm robbed of what is pure and different in the world. Perfectionism makes us believe that there's only one way, which alienates us from our community, friends, family.

Perfectionism strips us from the very threads of the world around us. It deceives us into believing that there is something perfect to strive for. But these distinct differences of this world, that's what makes it go around. That's the beauty of it all! And that's what helps us to grow in relationships with others, break down barriers and move closer to a more fulfilling and rich life.

When we first moved last year, I invited a new friend over so our children could play together. Mr. Kuda had been traveling for work, and despite the fact that we had lived in the rental for a few months, we were not unpacked, and I just couldn't find it in me to clean up to the perfect house I wanted to portray. I was mortified, but something in me just couldn't get it done. I apologized profusely, but she told me to stop, and that she was somewhat relieved that I didn't have it all together all the time. Those were her words: I'm kind of relieved because that means you don't have it all together all the time. What a blessing! Not only to me, but to her as well. It was that moment that a friendship grew; just one decision made allowed her to get a glimpse of my true self.

What if? What if we let those barriers fall, just one brick at a time? What if we allowed others to see our imperfections? The healing nature of doing so is powerful, if only we have the courage to do it every single day.

That's your challenge today: Expose your imperfections, and allow others to see who you truly are. As we embrace the ways we don't have it all together, and in that we will give the greatest gift to one another: ourselves.

xoxo, k.


  1. So very wonderfully put! What a challenge, it is so hard to be able to be you no matter how imperfect, thanks for sharing

    1. Thank you Maire! It is such a challenge, but at the same time, so freeing. Hope you've had a great Monday :)

  2. I am totally with you on this! Perfectionism IS a thief of joy, and time, as well. I struggle with it in a big way. I think it was actually worse when I became a mom. I wanted to have the best characteristics of my mom and also of my mother-in-law, which was just impossible. In recent years I've been working on it and doing better. I need to focus on "If it can't be perfect, why even try?" Usually that looks like "Why clean up this one room, when the rest of the house is still a mess?"

    1. Melissa, I think it worsens when we become parents because it adds to the comparison trap! And I can so agree with you re: "if it can't be perfect, why even try?" It's one of the reasons I wanted to do the 31 day challenge... It doesn't really give me the option to be perfect ever! Thanks for reading :)

  3. This was SO perfect (pun intended) for me. I've been having such a hard time thinking I'm "good enough" to write, and in other areas. I keep forgetting I'm the only person who expects me to be perfect. Thank you for writing this!

    1. Oh Carol, your message has made my heart sing! I love how God uses our words to reach one another. You are so much more than "good enough!"

  4. Oh, self-exposure is something I'm learning from my sweet blogging friends--the ones who don't hesitate to post a picture of themselves with bad bed-head and smeared make-up. The ones who write honestly and openly about their victory over garbage in their lives. I'm learning. I'm also not perfect ;). Thanks for linking up at Inspire Me Mondays :). Hope to see you again next week!

    1. Was so happy to join you wonderful ladies! There is something so freeing in knowing that I'm not the only imperfect one out there ;)


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