Summer in Review

When I wrote my rules for summer way back in June, I thought I was so cutting edge. I threw away my routine, opened the doors, said "yes," and we had a great summer. Like, really great. For fun on this first week back to school (which is technically still summer, so I refuse to acknowledge fall is here. But that's really for two reasons: That means Mr. C turns 2 and Miss turns 4, and I just can't really handle that truth right now), let's take a look at how we did with following my "rules," shall we?

As 'cutting edge' I thought I was, and as much fun as we did have, I'm quite sure I underestimated my need for routine and planning, even through the summer. That being said, let's go through the list and see how it went...

Throw Away the Schedule
All right. I like a routine. Like, I actually write everything I need to do each day, including "Do Laundry" and "Vacuum," and I review it each day to make sure I'm on track. Don't believe me?

And I cross off things as they happen. Seriously.

There you have it. That being said, we had so many fun days of just wearing pj's till noon, playing without direction, and getting up and going on a whim. Was it fun? YES. Am I ready for schedules and routines and regular activities throughout the week? YES. I. AM.

The best part of all of this, was that I learned that Miss E is exactly the same way. Mr. C? Couldn't care less. But my girl and I are cut from the same cloth. I found on the weeks she had activities scheduled (we did a ballet camp and a few swim camps), our days just ran more smoothly. I guess my girl and I just had a better sense of purpose when there was something predetermined.

Less structure meant more time for reading here...

And here...

And left room for "hair dresser shop." Mr. C loved it.

Try to Say 'Yes' More
I'm going to give myself an A for effort on this one. Throwing away the schedule helped me say 'yes' way more than I normally would have, and at the same time it helped me realize that I really do restrict what the kiddos do just so it makes my life easier. That is not what I want them to remember when they're older. I want them to remember the little things momma did to make them feel special. And sometimes that means ice cream right before bed or another episode of Super Why. Because, why not? It was summer!

"Can we stop by the beach on our way home?" YES.

"Can we go up on the rocks?" YES.

"Want to go on a tour of the Capitol Building?" No brainer! YES!

Read More Books
Well, I joined a book club. So that helped. But I actually read WAY more than I have since the kids came along. It was great. Highs included Jillian Flynn's Gone Girl and Sharp Objects, as well as What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. I also read The Vacationers by Emma Straub which was just meh for me. I keep reading and re-reading Parenting the Wholehearted Child by Jeannie Cunnion, and I cannot get enough of it. Like, really. And right now I'm finishing up Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight, and it's pretty gripping. Yay for book clubs! Ours has definitely helped to get me back in the game.

Go Outside. A lot.
All right. We're going to divide the summer into two parts for this one. We played in the pool, we played with rocks and went for walks, and we even camped for three nights over Labor Day weekend. BUT. Somewhere toward the end of July, the bees and wasps and GIGANTIC EUROPEAN HORNETS took over our yard, and it just wasn't fun to be outside while home. To give an example, when we got home from camping last weekend, the hornets started PELTING OUR CAR. And when Mr. Kuda sprayed that day, there were over THREE DOZEN hornets forever asleep on our front porch the next morning.

Yeah. We were done with outside. At our house, at least.

We did the best we could, and while we spent less and less time outside near our home, when I look back at our summer this year, I'll have so many sweet memories...

I learned a lot about myself this summer, and I'll probably do some things differently next year, but for now I'm going to enjoy the memories we made, and look forward to the upcoming year ahead of us. I mean, do you think she's excited enough to be starting PreK?

Just as a side note, we'll be starting up Tot School again, now that Mr. C is old enough. As I started to plan for this year, I hadn't realized how much I missed doing it last year. SO EXCITED!

Until next time,

Mrs. Kuda

We're Grumpy (aka, mommy fail)

Today was just one of those days. Daylight Savings Time has totally screwed with the Kudas in a not so fun way. I should've expected it at some point, but I'm just going to go ahead and say it: I totally deserved it.

"Mommy, I'm grumpy."

For some reason, the loss or addition of an hour has never impacted us as far as the kiddos are concerned. If you'll recall, Miss E has always been a good sleeper, and to be quite honest, Mr. C isn't as good, but he's better than most. And why do I deserve the sudden punishment of all h*!! breaking loose in our house?

Because every time a mom told me how awful the time change was for her kids, on the outside I was providing a comforting (and knowing?) nod, while on the inside all I could think was, I am so awesome. My kids would never have this problem. Yup. Full disclosure: I was smug. I should have been thinking, I have the best kids in the world and am soooooooo lucky this hasn't impacted us!

Long story short, the past two days have sucked. And the worst part about this is the realization I had while waiting for Miss E to procrastinate as she went number two on the potty for THRITY-FIVE MINUTES after bedtime: I'm the problem here, not the change in time (though I have to say, our schedule is totally wack-a-doo right now because of it). When momma is grumpy, the clan is grumpy. Today was not my best. I was a short-fused, nay-saying, voice-raising hot mess. NO. I don't want you to climb on me and lick my face. NO. I don't want to hold you and your brother while both of you scream in my ears. And NO. Screaming in a banshee voice while also crying and waking your brother up will not afford you the chance to watch Mickey Mouse Club. Ever.

But while I sat there in the dark (per her request) while Miss E went potty, she told me, "Mommy is grumpy like Miss E." Yup. I sure was.

So after we cleaned up, I apologized. Which if you know me, is really hard for me to do, even if it's to a two year old. But shouldn't she know that even grown-ups make mistakes? And isn't it my job to teach her that, even when you have a really bad day and you take it out on people you love, you still have to apologize and own up to your actions?

Once again, the toddler teaches me more about life in five minutes than I've learned in thirty something years.

And by the way, I promise to NEVER be the smug momma again. I PROMISE! This daylight savings time change thingy is no joke.

Until next time,

Mrs. Kuda

Breaking up is hard to do...

Especially if it's your toddler's afternoon nap. Insert loud exasperated sigh here.

Miss E has been a stellar sleeper in general, and really an easy baby altogether.  For ages she took a 1-2 hour nap in the morning and a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. Around 15 months she dropped that morning nap, and typically slept at least 2 hours in the afternoon. It's dwindled a bit recently, but still gave me at least an hour and a half in the afternoon to do some housework and catch up on me time.

In December, Miss E started fighting bed. HARD. It was awful. Sometimes she would wake up screaming every hour, and that was after two hours of going down. My newborn and my toddler had switched places, sleep-wise.

I believe several things contributed to our sleep downslide. For one, Mr. C and Miss E now share a bedroom.  They co-exist pretty well, and it's clear that Mr. C will be the kid that falls asleep anywhere, any time. You would, too if the first 4 months of your life you spent falling asleep to the screaming shrills of a two year old sibling. Just saying.

Then I think potty training became a factor. She's a thinker, and I think she may have inherited my awesome trait of over thinking everything. I know how fortunate we are to have the whole potty training thing go smoothly, but it was impacting her sleep. As a dear friend said, "Mrs. Kuda, you've got to take the burden off of her!" And she was right. I told Miss E not to worry if there was an accident, that we would have a "just in case diaper" on. And it worked! Problem solved. Side note: we've since ditched the night time diaper. It served a purpose for a few weeks. We've moved on.

Until about a month ago. One day, she just decided she wasn't going to nap. What the what? What about MY ALONE TIME. When do I get to regain my sanity to get through the rest of the day? So I relate this to a good friend of mine, and she looked at me and said, "Sounds like it's over. You need to be ok with that."

Don't you just love having girlfriends that can bring you back to reality in a loving way? I honestly have no idea what I'd do without them.

So? No nap. Sigh.

So many things have happened as far as Miss E growing up this past few months. Heck, even in the past few weeks she's grown tremendously. She's a little girl now, not a baby. She can go potty by herself, and now no napping? She speaks to me in full sentences, and is starting to really shine as her own independent human. She even named her new baby doll without any influence on my part. Her name is Clara, and I have no idea where she got that name. Sigh.

So today I told her that we were going to try something new. "Miss E, we are going to have quiet time. It's ok that you don't sleep, but mommy needs quiet time just like you do. I'm going to work, and when it's time, you and mommy can play together again."

And she read. For thirty minutes, she read. And when she told me she was finished, I asked her to put her books back in the book basket, and she didn't feel like it so she read some more.

I wish you could be here next to me, so you
could hear her whispering to Clara.
So sweet.

It didn't go perfectly. But she's so big. And I think it's time. I also think it's important that she see me do other things that don't relate to her. So right now, while I do this, she's doing this:

She has work to do, too.

 And this:

Clara's hungry, mommy. You go work. I'll feed the baby.

And for a few minutes (just a few), this:

Just a little rest...

I'm not sure what I was so afraid of. I'm sure we'll have our ups and downs as far as "quiet time" goes, but it's time I let Miss E grow up, even if it's just a little bit, and move on.

Until next time,

Mrs. Kuda


Thanks to Carrie for cluing me in that it may be time to set different rules in our house in the afternoon. You're awesome!