10.20.2014

Day 20: The Overscheduled

As the clock pushed toward 8 pm, I felt the pressure mounting, and was sure my top would blow. It had been a relaxing weekend, but the hustle and bustle of get dressed, brush teeth, get them dressed, comb hair, eat breakfast, snacks, lunch, laundry, errands... It became too much. And here it was, 8 pm on a Sunday night, and I hadn't caught my breath since I woke up that morning.

Tears threatened to fall over the threshold, but somehow I kept them back, determined to finish my to do's and check lists. I sat at our family table and opened my planner, divvying up my next week into check marks and activities.

This is too much.

A thought popped into my head, and that's when the proverbial dam began to disintegrate. I forgot to call her. I promised I'd call, but that was two days ago, and I forgot. I am the worst.

I actually texted her and said those exact words: "I am so sorry I didn't call. I am the worst."

That one split hair of a second: that's how quickly the lies can seep in. Somehow we let ourselves go from being over-scheduled and too busy, to feeling like the worst. And that's what I felt. I had let her down, and in turn let myself down. And maybe let God down? Because I alone couldn't get it all done.

In my own failings, I had immediately gone to a place of fault and self-loathing. Is this you? After spending the weekend with a bunch of {wonderful} women who are hurting, I know I'm not the only one. Knowing this is comforting, but it took less than 24 hours for me to revert back to believing the lies we tell ourselves.

Over scheduling is my trigger. What's yours? The pessimistic friend? Gossip? Pinterest? We need to identify what provokes the lies in our hearts, our minds. And then we need to speak it. We need to open the means of communication, because the Enemy? He wants us to be isolated in our self-deprecation. He wants us to feel alone and unworthy of peace. Happiness. Joy. We need to be able to tap in and recognize these lies. Only then can we begin to reevaluate our priorities, develop a plan of attack, and ultimately, heal.
Today? I am starting anew. My to-do list continues on, but my priorities have changed. I am worthy of the tasks set before me, and when the details of my daily life get in the way of checking off all the boxes, I'll know that I'm not the only one. Care to join?

xoxo,
k.

Need more inspiration today? Head on over to Inspire Me Mondays to get your fill!

14 comments:

  1. Such a fine line between needing to get things done and "needing" to get things done if that makes sense. Familiar struggle. You are so not alone!

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    1. Oh, yes. You are speaking my language! Thankful I'm not alone :)

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  2. "The enemy wants us to be isolated in our self-deprecation. He wants us to feel alone and unworthy of peace. Happiness. Joy. We need to be able to tap in and recognize these lies. Only then can we begin to reevaluate our priorities, develop a plan of attack, and ultimately, heal." This is so true, Kristin. Thank you for speaking truth and hope today!! I will remember these words ...
    Gratefully,
    Renee

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    1. I'm so happy that they've struck a chord, Renee. Thanks for reading!

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  3. What great insight! We do need to watch out for the lies we tend to believe. Overscheduling is my trigger point, too. You are definitely not the only one!

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    1. I feel like the lies just seep in unnoticed, then BAM! You're in good company!

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  4. Oh, I LOVE this! "I am worthy of the tasks set before me" (and trolling Facebook isn't a task HE sets before us ;). Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Oh Goodness, FB is such a kill joy! Except that's how I found all of you lovely ladies, so I guess it's not all bad ;) You're welcome, and thanks for reading!

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  5. Don't I know it! Those lies sneak up on us in an instant.

    This is slightly different, but one of the things that we learned in Love and Respect is that women take criticism in a different way than men do. We tend to generalize it to mean that WE are not good. For example, if my husband says, "This chicken is kind of dry," I hear, "You can't cook." It's not at all what he means!

    But yes, if my to-do list keeps rolling over from day to day, if I don't finish by Friday night, I feel like a failure. I mean, does it really matter if certain things either don't get done or get done later?

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    1. Melissa, stay tuned for an upcoming post on just that. Whenever I hear the slightest criticism, I take it to the extreme. It's so destructive! If I can get my thoughts out at some point this month, I hope to share it with you.

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  6. Have a less loaded, more fun days ahead! :) You can do it!

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  7. Ugh, the dreaded Sunday night. Why is it that all of our stress and anxiety seems to cascade over us on Sunday night? As a teacher, lesson planning on Sunday nights, while figuring out grocery lists and other weekly to-dos always send me into a tizzy. Thank goodness I have the tradition of putting everything away, pouring myself a glass of wine, and watching "The Good Wife" before bed with my hubby. If not, Sundays would be REALLY awful.

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    1. That is a FANTASTIC Sunday night tradition!

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