Day 20: The Overscheduled

As the clock pushed toward 8 pm, I felt the pressure mounting, and was sure my top would blow. It had been a relaxing weekend, but the hustle and bustle of get dressed, brush teeth, get them dressed, comb hair, eat breakfast, snacks, lunch, laundry, errands... It became too much. And here it was, 8 pm on a Sunday night, and I hadn't caught my breath since I woke up that morning.

Tears threatened to fall over the threshold, but somehow I kept them back, determined to finish my to do's and check lists. I sat at our family table and opened my planner, divvying up my next week into check marks and activities.

This is too much.

A thought popped into my head, and that's when the proverbial dam began to disintegrate. I forgot to call her. I promised I'd call, but that was two days ago, and I forgot. I am the worst.

I actually texted her and said those exact words: "I am so sorry I didn't call. I am the worst."

That one split hair of a second: that's how quickly the lies can seep in. Somehow we let ourselves go from being over-scheduled and too busy, to feeling like the worst. And that's what I felt. I had let her down, and in turn let myself down. And maybe let God down? Because I alone couldn't get it all done.

In my own failings, I had immediately gone to a place of fault and self-loathing. Is this you? After spending the weekend with a bunch of {wonderful} women who are hurting, I know I'm not the only one. Knowing this is comforting, but it took less than 24 hours for me to revert back to believing the lies we tell ourselves.

Over scheduling is my trigger. What's yours? The pessimistic friend? Gossip? Pinterest? We need to identify what provokes the lies in our hearts, our minds. And then we need to speak it. We need to open the means of communication, because the Enemy? He wants us to be isolated in our self-deprecation. He wants us to feel alone and unworthy of peace. Happiness. Joy. We need to be able to tap in and recognize these lies. Only then can we begin to reevaluate our priorities, develop a plan of attack, and ultimately, heal.

Today? I am starting anew. My to-do list continues on, but my priorities have changed. I am worthy of the tasks set before me, and when the details of my daily life get in the way of checking off all the boxes, I'll know that I'm not the only one. Care to join?

xoxo,
k.

Need more inspiration today? Head on over to Inspire Me Mondays to get your fill!