Perspective: Giving Thanks {Three}

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It started with Mr. C. I really hate to put blame on any one person, especially my son, but it's true: His inability to sleep got the ball rolling.

Just over two years ago, eight weeks into his little life, one thing became quite apparent: He was not a good sleeper. The less he slept, the more I felt the walls of our two bedroom duplex crowd around us. Poor Miss E dealt with the consequences of waking up every two or so hours each night very well, better than any two year old should be asked. But by the end of 2012, it was very clear that our current living situation would not work.

Or at least, that's what I had convinced myself to believe.

Over the next eight months, I obsessed over "the new house." Whatever that meant. In my mind, the notion of the new house solved all of my problems. Somehow I had been lured into the sentiment that, because we would be able to put the kiddos in separate rooms, I would get more sleep. Somehow giving the kids their own rooms morphed into more sleep for me, which meant more happiness for me, which meant I would have more energy to be the best mom ever, which meant I would be the best wife ever, which meant...

Do you see where I went there?

The thing about thankfulness, is that it often has no merit unless given the proper perspective. My perspective was so warped by the time we moved to the rental house in August of 2013, I had forgotten the original source of it all. Deep down (somewhere), I knew the real reasons for moving: so we could have a simpler life, so I could continue to stay home with the kids, to offer them the life that we wanted them to have. But the appreciation for what we had already had all but slipped through my well-rested fingers, and I felt lost.

Loss for friendships, loss for familiarity, loss for my true identity.

Slowly, but surely, I climbed my way out of the hole that I had dug. What helped me?

Thankfulness. In the every day, boring minutiae of the wash, rinse, repeat life I had come to know.

I miss my friends.
God, thank you for those enduring friendships. Thank you for the joy I had each time we were together, and thank you for giving me courage to meet new friends and pursue deep relationships. Because of those women, I know what true friendship is.

I'm lonely.

Thank you for my husband, Lord. Thank you for the comic relief he gives me every day, and the companionship You know I need. Thank you for the joy he gives to our family day in and day out.

Our house isn't what I want it to be.

Thank you for warmth, and a roof over our heads. Thank you for all of your provisions as our house was built. Thank you for a yard our children can safely play in. 

I miss being around adults during the day, and being the only one who can fulfill their needs just wears. me. down.

Thank you for a dedicated husband and the wonderful job he has so that I can stay home during these young years in our children's lives. 

Thank you, God,  for being the only One who can fulfill our needs. And not the needs we think we ought to have, but the needs you know we must have. Like joy. And peace. And contentment.

And you see what I did there? Perspective.

Feeling discontent? Find thanks in it. Even if it's small. Even if it's hard. You'll be amazed at the outcome, and I promise you this: you will find joy even in the smallest of things.

xoxo, k.

Hooking up with some amazing inspiration on this Monday! Head on over!

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